Cognitive Dissonant

Nice…

I recieve my COBRA paperwork, and notice that my rent is going up in the same day’s mail.

Hello Monday.

I’ve written several posts since the 8th.

Many of them including “bitter diatribes about women.” (2 points if you can name the movie.)

I’ve not published any of them because they were a little more raw than I was comfortable exposing.

I never really completely dealt with it. It’s been somewhere around a month and I haven’t gotten it out of my system. It doesn’t help that we worked together. All the mistakes I made were in the aftermath, it was time to stop talking.

I guess I’m dealing with it now and maybe not with a whole lot of finese.  I can say that it really is for the better. What little perspective I have gained does tell me that I would have been miserable at some point, regardless.

The brain gets it now. No more questions. Not to suggest I’ve gotten answers, no, I’ve just given up on the answers. This is hard for me because it is my nature to talk things out.

Now if I could just stop feeling like I’ve had the wind knocked out of me…

Maudlin.  I hate that word. I hate even more that it fits.

After 2.5 years and aproximately 150 interviews… it’s very strange to find myself on the wrong side of the desk during an interview.  ‘Course it also gives me an unfair advantage. >;)

Waiting in lobby of KGB, formerly Infonxx. I’m 30 minutes early for testing.
Nothing exciting, probably just to determine if I’m literate. This is bottom tier callcenter work. But I need to work.
Some leads out there. I need to rewrite my resume for a more creative gig. They love my sister, I just need to convince them that it’s hereditary.

Tangentally interesting; they have RFID locks everywhere.

Skippy* and Sweaty** got what they wanted. I was asked to turn in my keys and cards this morning.

I’ve been thinking and it doesn’t seem grammatically correct to say I have had a bad month;

I do not have pancreatic cancer.
I have never had an abusive partner.
I have never had to deal with a divorce
I still have, if only for the moment, a job.
My home has not been invaded.
I’ve not lost a child
I have the love and support of my family.
If I am to lose my job, it would be the motivation I need to finally get out of sales.

So while I certainly don’t want to do that again, and very much hope things improve, I could be much, much worse off.

This has been a…bad month.

I fell for a girl and lost her in aproximately one week.
A cat I rescued from a rain soaked porch has succombed to cancer.

My boss tells me I stand a very good chance of being fired. I can’t afford to be unemployed for more than a month. Saying I am scared is putting mildly. I am also outraged! But yes if they want me gone there is little standing in their way.

This has been one of those months I would like to just skip to the next chapter.

I realized something this morning. My unhealthy attraction for this particular woman is every bit like my unhealthy attraction for…

Wait for it…

P!nk

I guess I am often attracted to women who are tougher than me and somewhat scary!

I can haz nirvana?

I am actually writing this entry from my new iPhone 3G!

Beware world! Now I really am blogging this!

supposedly my local Aple store will have 16GB iPhones in stock tomorrow morning. They open at 12, I’ll try to get there at 11am.  I have to be at work at 12.  Here’s hoping it works out!